SELF-ESTEEM: Probably one of the more complex topics out there, but I decided to tackle it today based on my own experiences.
I’m a recovering over-achiever, perfectionist, people-pleaser. Constantly chasing the next achievement, I strived for that perfect score in order to receive positive reinforcement and validation from my peers, teachers and parents. I’m sure many of you can relate!
On top of that, I regularly sacrificed my own desires, feelings and happiness to maintain harmony, keep the peace and to be the perfect friend, daughter, student, girlfriend, wife.
I honestly believed for many many many years that this was a really good thing. To be likeable, a hard worker, intelligent girl with a heart of gold. Don’t get me wrong, these are good traits! However, when the motivation for being these things stems from desperately needing that approval and validation from others, then we have a self-esteem issue.
A self-esteem issue can rear it’s ugly head many times throughout our life and in different forms. For me, mine was always brewing in the background of my subconscious and conscious mind. It drove nearly every decision I made around my social life, my school/uni/work life, and family life. It wasn’t long before this desire to achieve perfection in order to be accepted manifested in an eating disorder.
My Eating Disorder